Issue #34
Issue #35
Issue #36
Issue #37
Issue #38
Issue #39
Issue #40
Issue #41
Issue #42
Issue #43
Issue #44
Issue #45
Issue #46
Issue #47




Issue #37; April, Year One

Faux DC proudly presents.... "Hawks, Bats, and Shadows"

by TJ Burns

What has gone before...

The mysterious leader of the Criminal Alliance of the World has hired the Shadow Thief to steal the computer core of the old Justice League Satellite from its final resting place at Wayne Enterprises. Meanwhile Hawkman, needing a quick way home from an evening of cards with the Justice Society of America, decided to use the old JLA teleporters to get back to Chicago... teleporting him to the teleport center of the old JLA satellite... where the Shadow Thief had just defeated the local hero Joe Public! As the winged warrior faced off with his shadowy nemesis, he found himself disarmed by Gotham's legendary Darknight Detective... the Batman!


"Calm down Batman... we've worked together before. You know that the JLA had my mind read to prove my identity. Even if you can't trust me, can't you trust J'onn and Diana?" ,says Hawkman.

"There are ways to beat telepathy, Thanagarian... I've done it before myself. Even the best can be fooled... and another undercover Thanagarian wouldn't surprise me in the least. Surrender now... save yourself some trouble." ,says the Batman, grimly.

"You don't understand... I was using the JLA teleporter... but I found the Shadow Thief here..." begins Hawkman.

"Really. So where is he now?" ,says the Batman as he prepares for another throw.

"All right, Batman... I tried to be reasonable. But if I have to, I can take you down!" ,shouts Hawkman as he smoothly lifts his mace for an attack.


"Welcome, officers, to the Special Task Force on Metahuman Crime." ,says Commissioner Emmett as he addresses the milling officers of the Chicago Police Department. "Today we have a special guest... the head of the Metropolis Special Crimes Unit... Dan Turpin!"

"Welcome, officers. As many of you know, metahuman crime is still on the rise. With the formation of the new Justice League of America, many metahumans have organized themselves into organizations that better defends them from even the likes of the JLA. That means that we boys and girls in blue need to be prepared for the situations that even the super-guys can't always be able to beat single-handedly. Chicago was chosen as the first step for this special training, because you guys have the highest metahuman population in the US, and most of your heroes, like the Blue Beetle and the Hawks aren't just the stay-at-home types." ,says "Terrible" Turpin, as he addresses the officers.

"Hey there, pal... our Hawks are the best! Shayera here is even on the force!" ,says Andrea Lencioni. (The Hawks' closest friend on the force... and Shayera's current partner.)

"Even so, Officer, Chicago needs to be prepared. We'll be training with Lexcorp blasters this evening... I want you guys to be able to bring down even the toughest superguy." ,says Dan Turpin as he unveils the Lexcorp weapons that he has brought with him.

Gotham City...

The Battle between Batman and Hawkman rages. Batman leaps off of his perch with a firm kick to Hawkman's solar plexus. At the last possible minute, Katar drops like a stone, allowing the kick to go overhead. He then swings a punch upward himself, which the Batman narrowly dodges.

"Listen to me, Batman... you are wasting time! The Shadow Thief is here. We need to stop him." ,says Hawkman.

"Please, don't insult my intelligence. The Shadow Thief is good, but he's far from invisible." ,says Batman as he throws his Batarang directly for the head of Hawkman.

"Don't waste your time, old friend... remember who taught you to throw that toy back in your college days." ,says Hawkman as he catches the Batarang and crushes it. "I taught you that, when you sought me out as Carter Hall."

"Carter Hall could never have crushed a titanium Batarang in his bare hand either. All you've proven to me is that you know things you shouldn't, 'friend'... and that means that you have to go down... NOW!" ,says Batman as he leaps to the attack.

Elsewhere in the Satellite...

"Oh, this is just too perfect... Those costumed hotheads are busy pounding on each other... I can steal the computer core, run to the teleporter, and kill the Batman while I am at it. I could retire on that kind of money." ,laughs the Shadow Thief silently. He begins to look for the central computer core.


"Take that meat!" ,shouts Shayera Thal as she finishes emptying a Lexcorp blaster into the target. "I didn't think it was possible, but you guys finally came up with some guns worth shooting!"

"You are a natural at this sort of thing, Ms. Thal." ,says Dan Turpin. "I guess the Thanagarian cops had a more intensive training that even we do."

"Our police and our military had the same training... think about what a squad of Navy SEALS could do on the street with these weapons and you are only starting to imagine what a squad of Wingmen could do." ,says Shayera grimly.

"Well, it shows. Commissioner Emmett, I don't think that you needed our help here at all... Ms. Thal here handles these weapons like a natural." ,says Dan Turpin.

"Yeah... just as long as she remembers little things like due process while she is at it." ,says Commissioner Emmett.

"Well, sir, some of my recent... experiences... have given me a newfound appreciation for things like that. I think you know what I am talking about." ,says Shayera. *

"Yeah, I guess I do..." ,says Commissioner Emmett.

(Shayera Thal gained the memories of her pre-CRISIS incarnation as well as those of the Golden Age Hawkgirl in our first faux-dc issue! Commissioner Emmett was there.)

Gotham City...

"OK, Batman, I've played nice long enough... if you won't listen to reason, I don't have time to play." ,says Hawkman as he activates his Hawk Talon. Suddenly an intense sound wave fills the room. Batman cries out in pain, his hands going for the earplugs in his utility belt... as both he and Hawkman see the Shadow Thief fall out of the shadows, clutching his ears.

"There you are!" ,smiles Hawkman as he fires off an electrical blast from his talon to strike the Shadow Thief, who yowls in pain.

"All right, Hawkman... so you weren't lying about the Shadow Thief... but that still doesn't make you reliable." ,says the Batman, grimly as he walks toward the unconscious Shadow Thief.

"Batman... wait! He's only..." ,Hawkman shouts as the Shadow Thief leaps up and viciously chops down on the Batman. "...feigning unconsciousness"

"Well, birdboy, it's good to see you again. I heard you were out of the hero racket a while back... it's nice to be able to have a familiar face to pound on again" ,says the Shadow Thief as he hurls some shadowy Shuriken at Hawkman.

"Nice to see you again too Sands. It looks like you almost even have your self respect back... it's amazing what a Thanagarian Shadow Generator can do for a second rate sneaker like you" ,says Hawkman as he bats the Shuriken down with his mighty mace.

"Second rate! I have a few minutes until I make my retirement by putting the Batman down for keeps." ,laughs the Shadow Thief. "Then I take this computer core, and walk out over here. I may even get a bonus for killing you... but I'd doubt it. Your value really plummeted after that disappearing act of yours."

"Funny man Sands... you just made one, tiny mistake... You see, you aren't the only guy who can play dead." ,smiles Hawkman grimly as the Batman kicks the Shadow Thief's legs out from under him.

"Sorry Sands... but your powers don't make you any tougher now than they used to back when you were just a second rate assassin." ,says the Batman as he throws the Shadow Thief into the wreckage created by the fighting in the satellite.

"Not there Batman! That's where we stored the Solar Sail!" ,shouts Hawkman.

"I'm almost ready to believe that you are Carter Hall... only a JLA member could know that... or someone with a Thanagarian Absorbascon." ,says Batman.

"Looks like you made a big mistake, Batboy... this Solar Sail is nice. Let's see how solar absorption helps my shadows." ,laughs the Shadow Thief. The room goes completely dark. There is a bright light and then all returns to normal.

"He got away! Do you think he used the teleporter?" ,says Hawkman.

"I think that's what he tried to do. But that was his mistake. You know why." ,says the Batman grimly.

"Yeah... the teleporter memory is locked into the computer core... if he stole that and then used the teleporter... he'd be scrambled across the globe." ,shudders Hawkman.

"Maybe originally, Hawkman... but I altered the security interlocks when Bruce Wayne took possession of the satellite." ,says the Batman. "The teleporters wouldn't work without that memory. I can't explain what happened"

"You mean when you took control of it, Bruce." ,says Hawkman calmly.

"That's dangerous knowledge, Hawkman. I'm not sure I trust someone who can't even prove who he is with knowledge of who I am." ,says the Batman grimly. "I'll be watching you like a hawk, if you'll excuse the expression... if you do one thing that makes me suspect you again... you will be dealt with."

"You always were the suspicious type, kid. Even used a fake name when you approached me to train you in weapons back in your college days. But doesn't the Shadow Thief have your ID now? After all, it was in the JLA computers..." ,says Hawkman.

"Fortunately, no. I deleted all information pertaining to myself when the original League disbanded. All Sands has is the true identities of the others... meaning he knows nothing new. Hal Jordan's ID was made public when he died, like Barry Allen's. Zatanna, Elongated Man, you, and Ollie Queen's were public as well. No, the information on the members isn't useful to anyone... but the information on our cases may be." ,says Batman. "I'll inform the other JLA members. Now what were you doing here?"

"Just trying to get a ride back home... can I use your teleporter?" ,says Hawkman sheepishly.

"There's one in the Gotham Gardens, hidden in a tool shed. Here's the key." ,says Batman as he tosses the key to Hawkman and vanishes into the shadows.

"I always hated it when he did that." ,says Hawkman to the silent room.


"I really feel like a first-class idiot, sir. The Shadow Thief hammered me pretty badly." ,says Joe Public.

"I understand, son. Not everyone can set the world on fire right off the bat. Maybe you could use some training." ,says Hawkman kindly.

"Well, sir, I don't know who to turn to. Batman rejected me, and the JLA doesn't have any time for us young heroes. I know a few other guys in Gotham that have the powers, but just don't have the experience." ,says Joe Public.

"Maybe I can help you guys out." ,says Hawkman. "Not every superguy in the world is like Batman. Here's my address. Let's try and meet up sometime and maybe I can give you guys some pointers." ,says Hawkman.

"Thanks a lot sir! You don't know what this means to me!" ,says Joe Public.

Chicago. The office of the Mayor.

"You want me to do WHAT?" ,shouts Commissioner Emmett.

"Simple enough, Emmett. Think of the publicity if Chicago's new metahuman crime unit is headed up by a noted superhero. You have Hawkwoman in our ranks anyway. Turpin already said that she's the best qualified for the job." ,says the Mayor calmly.

"Yeah, but you've seen her record, sir! She's got a tendency to shoot first and ignore due process." ,says Commisioner Emmett angrily. "She may be a little different, but can we take the inevitable protests?"

"The word has come down from above, Emmett. Put Thal in charge of the new unit." ,says the Mayor.

Another world, far away...

"How did I get here?" ,cries the Shadow Thief.

"Welcome to Xarapon, stranger." ,says a shadowy individual. "It is rare that one of your world enters ours. I feel we have much to teach one another."

The Shadow Thief smiles. "Maybe we do at that." His evil laughter echoes throughout the darkness.


"Hi honey, I'm home!" ,says Katar.

"Welcome home son!" ,says Naomi Carter

"Mother! You are home early! Where's Shayera?" ,says Katar.

"She called to say that she would be late, son." ,says Naomi Carter with a smile.

"I wonder what's keeping her." ,says Katar.

The door opens and Dennis Baitan, Katar's friend and mechanic enters the room. "Hey there Katar... I just finished the work that you wanted me to do on your car. I'll start to work on Shayera's bike tommorrow."

"Thanks Dennis!" ,smiles Katar. "Join us for dinner?"

"Sure thing!" ,says Dennis Baitan.

The door opens and Shayera comes in. "I have some great news! I got promoted today! They put me in charge of the metahuman task force at the station."

"Congradulations Shayera!" ,says Dennis

"I am not sure about this honey." ,says Katar. "Remember what a special task force did to our homeworld... it became a police state overnight."

"Oh, you worry too much Peacock." ,says Shayera. "Besides, I know the risks of a job like that better than anyone. If anybody can make it work right, without becoming a monstrosity, it's me."

"I am still worried, sweetheart... but I am proud of you, and I have confidence in you, at least." ,says Katar with a smile.

"Well, then, let's go celebrate!" ,says Shayera as she hugs Katar.

Meanwhile, out in space....

"Report Commander Andar." ,says Deron Ved

"Well, sir, Kanjar Ro has agreed to assist our war effort against those that are responsible for the downfall of Thanagar." ,says Fel Andar stiffly.

"Excellent. The forces of Earth know Kanjar Ro and his Gamma Gong all too well. Soon, we will land on Earth... and the heart of Katar Hol will be mine!" ,says Deron Ved.

Next issue! The Gentleman Ghost!

The DC Universe of characters, which includes 90% of all the ones written about on this site, their images and logos are all legally copyrighted to DC Comics and it's parent company of Time/Warner. We make absolutely no claim that they belong to us. We're just a bunch of fans with over active imaginations and a love of writing.